My parents are both pastors and once I was fucking this one dude who’s dad was the pastor of the rival church and he whispered ‘talk biblical to me’ so i started reciting Psalms 23 and we ended up getting into a competition of who could recite the most bible versus before they cummed
the boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen
he sent me the meme
when im a parent i won’t take my kid’s electronics when they get in trouble i’ll just take the charger so i can watch the fear in their eyes as they use it less and less while the battery slowly begins to run out
this is like walking through dreams
163,000 people to be the first five minutes of supernatural
^^^^^^ exactly what I was thinking as I scrolled through
We’ve got 9 seasons that show you why going into abandoned places is a terrible idea
Looks cool and all but I bet there are hella spiders in all these places.
Her wit backfired and created one of the greatest awards show moments ever.
That moment Jennifer Lawrence was the one able to sexually harass Jack Nicholson. And it worked.
One time I laughed so hard at someone throwing up I threw up
I remember on my 4th grade field trip my class was standing on a hill and my teacher said “lets roll out” and I was like oh ok so I stared rolling down the hill and I had to hold my teachers hand for the rest of the day
gordon ramsay’s confused face is the cutest thing on earth
look at him
hes like a little baby boy
In order to become the supreme adult, you must perform the seven wonders:
- Public speaking
- Not being afraid of teenagers
- Calling the doctor yourself
- Arguing without crying
- Having a normal sleep pattern
- Having an answer to the question ‘what do you want to do with your life?’
I really hate when I put food in the microwave and it starts popping and making explosive noises so I check it and it’s freezing cold like why you gotta play me like that